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man on deck looking sweaty after run

Man Who Went For Run This Morning Says Legs Are “Sore” But “Good Sore”

January 8, 2026

CALF CONFESSIONS.

Recent headlines

gym bro disgusted by people at gym.

Dedicated Gym Bro Braces For January Flood Of Fakes And Phonies

January 2, 2026

man in backyard with waterblaster

Bored Dad Seen Sniffing Around The Backyard Looking For Things To Waterblast

December 30, 2025

man on couch thinking of fireworks celebration

NO PLANS YET: Local Bloke Still Pretending He’ll Be Invited Somewhere For New Year’s

December 30, 2025

jetstar flight attendant in front of planes

REPORT: Jetstar In Fact Just Another Normal Airline That’s No Better Or Worse Than The Others

December 28, 2025

man looking at powerade bottle in Night n day store.

Local Bloke Leans Into Tomorrow’s Hangover With Pre-Purchased Blue Powerade

December 27, 2025

News

man laughing with beer at airport

Boarding Call Falls On Deaf Ears Of Bloke Determined To Finish Overpriced Airport Beer

January 7, 2026

NO PINT LEFT BEHIND.

man facepalms while child cries

Toddler Decides Today Is A Good Day To Once Again Get His Fingers Jammed In The Door

January 6, 2026

SLOW LEARNER.

angry boys with cricket bat

REPORT: BYC Growing Quite Tense Between Cousins

January 4, 2026

FAMILY FEUD.

Less recent news

man out running thinking about xmas food

Man Punishes Self With Excruciating Boxing Day Run After Outrageous Christmas Feast

December 26, 2025

BOXING ON.

girl getting iphone and boy getting puzzle

Sibling Tension Peaks As One Child Clearly Gets Better Gift

December 25, 2025

mum screaming at christmas

CHRISTMAS LUNCH PREGAME: Local Mum Attempts To Elevate Family’s Stress Levels To Match Hers

December 25, 2025

lad sitting by xmas tree with socks and undies

COMING OF AGE: Local Lad Genuinely Grateful To Get Socks And Undies For Christmas

December 25, 2025

man under pressure in shopping mall.

Last Minute Christmas Shopper Angered By “All The People” Despite Being One Of Them

December 24, 2025

The Whakataki Times – the backbone of New Zealand’s news.

Quite old news

man talking to shop assistant in skincare shop

Bloke Purchasing Skincare Christmas Gift For Girlfriend Nods Along With Shop Assistant Like He’s Across It

December 23, 2025

BLIND AGREEMENT.

man eating pie in front of Night 'n Day shop

Night ’n Day Pie Warms Both Hands And Soul Of Hungover Tradie

December 22, 2025

woman upset about green message on iphone

iPhone User Rethinking New Acquaintance After First Text Message Was Turned Green

December 21, 2025

couple relaxing on the couch not worrying about elf on a shelf.

Parents Pleased They Skipped Elf On A Shelf This Year And Avoided The Sheer Admin Of It

December 21, 2025

man busily working at his desk.

LAST WEEK AT WORK: Bloke Clicks Rapidly Between Tabs To Appear To Be A Productive Employee

December 15, 2025

stopwatch on plane

Aisle Standers Successfully Shave 0.00 Seconds Off Their Time Taken To Get Off Plane

December 11, 2025

man enjoying a beer on crate day

Bloke Who Has Never Once Finished His Crate Says This Is “His Year”

December 6, 2025

christs college boy with golden syrup.

Outraged Christ’s College Student Demands To Know What’s Wrong With Liking Golden Syrup

December 5, 2025

Chris Luxon and his taylor swift Spotify Wrapped result.

Luxon Shares His Spotify Wrapped Hoping Taylor Swift Will Finally Notice Him

December 4, 2025

cookie time girl with relaxed office worker behind

Bloke Begins Annual Wind-Down The Moment Christmas Cookie Time Girls Enter Office

December 3, 2025

man at computer

Public Servant Introduces Personal Scoring System To Simulate Job Satisfaction

December 1, 2025

MAKING HIS OWN FUN.

man with beer at party

Bloke Who Failed To Bring Beers To Party Now Taking Generous Helpings Of Everyone Else’s

November 30, 2025

EMPTY HANDED

Sport

angry boys with cricket bat

REPORT: BYC Growing Quite Tense Between Cousins

January 4, 2026

FAMILY FEUD.

stopwatch on plane

Aisle Standers Successfully Shave 0.00 Seconds Off Their Time Taken To Get Off Plane

December 11, 2025

batsman getting out

Grade Cricketer Reckons He Was ‘Seeing Them Well’ Before Getting Bowled for 2

November 22, 2025

All Blacks Can’t Even Completely Blame The Score On England’s Lame Boring Drop Goals

November 16, 2025

NARRATIVE RUINED.

Man with horse race behind him and TAB app open on phone.

Local Punter Gears Up for Annual Tradition of Losing Money On Melbourne Cup Day

November 3, 2025

American man looking confused about the all blacks.

All Blacks Travelling To Chicago Hoping They Don’t Expand Global Confusion About Rugby

October 28, 2025

storm fan

NRL GRAND FINAL: New Zealander With Zero Ties To Melbourne Suddenly Becomes Lifelong Storm Fan

October 3, 2025

man watching cricket on couch.

“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account

October 1, 2025

man drinking and thinking about roigard and razor

Old Boy At The Pub Adds Cam Roigard To His Good Books But Not Razor

September 28, 2025

aussie fan with VHS tape looking for VCR

Wallabies Fan Searching For VCR Hoping To Watch Australia’s Last Bledisloe Win

September 25, 2025

Wallabies celebrating despite All Blacks winning record

Wallabies Certain This Year Is Different, Despite 23 Years Of It Not Being Different

September 23, 2025

razor angrily thinking about loss.

All Blacks Coaching Staff On High Alert For Any Laughing Or Smiling At Training This Week

September 15, 2025

dejected all blacks

All Blacks Get Their Match Fees Docked For Not Turning Up For Second Half

September 14, 2025

Culture

man on deck looking sweaty after run

Man Who Went For Run This Morning Says Legs Are “Sore” But “Good Sore”

January 8, 2026

CALF CONFESSIONS.

man laughing with beer at airport

Boarding Call Falls On Deaf Ears Of Bloke Determined To Finish Overpriced Airport Beer

January 7, 2026

man facepalms while child cries

Toddler Decides Today Is A Good Day To Once Again Get His Fingers Jammed In The Door

January 6, 2026

gym bro disgusted by people at gym.

Dedicated Gym Bro Braces For January Flood Of Fakes And Phonies

January 2, 2026

man in backyard with waterblaster

Bored Dad Seen Sniffing Around The Backyard Looking For Things To Waterblast

December 30, 2025

man on couch thinking of fireworks celebration

NO PLANS YET: Local Bloke Still Pretending He’ll Be Invited Somewhere For New Year’s

December 30, 2025

COUCH COUNTDOWN.

jetstar flight attendant in front of planes

REPORT: Jetstar In Fact Just Another Normal Airline That’s No Better Or Worse Than The Others

December 28, 2025

man looking at powerade bottle in Night n day store.

Local Bloke Leans Into Tomorrow’s Hangover With Pre-Purchased Blue Powerade

December 27, 2025

man out running thinking about xmas food

Man Punishes Self With Excruciating Boxing Day Run After Outrageous Christmas Feast

December 26, 2025

girl getting iphone and boy getting puzzle

Sibling Tension Peaks As One Child Clearly Gets Better Gift

December 25, 2025

mum screaming at christmas

CHRISTMAS LUNCH PREGAME: Local Mum Attempts To Elevate Family’s Stress Levels To Match Hers

December 25, 2025

lad sitting by xmas tree with socks and undies

COMING OF AGE: Local Lad Genuinely Grateful To Get Socks And Undies For Christmas

December 25, 2025

man under pressure in shopping mall.

Last Minute Christmas Shopper Angered By “All The People” Despite Being One Of Them

December 24, 2025

man talking to shop assistant in skincare shop

Bloke Purchasing Skincare Christmas Gift For Girlfriend Nods Along With Shop Assistant Like He’s Across It

December 23, 2025

man eating pie in front of Night 'n Day shop

Night ’n Day Pie Warms Both Hands And Soul Of Hungover Tradie

December 22, 2025

woman upset about green message on iphone

iPhone User Rethinking New Acquaintance After First Text Message Was Turned Green

December 21, 2025

go on.. get some pies.

Politics

Chris Luxon and his taylor swift Spotify Wrapped result.

Luxon Shares His Spotify Wrapped Hoping Taylor Swift Will Finally Notice Him

December 4, 2025

MISSION CREEP.

Te Pati Maori MPs and news headline.

Te Pāti Māori Insiders Convinced One More Parliament Haka Will Get Them Back On Track

November 10, 2025

David Seymour confronted by trick or treaters dressed as the capital gains tax.

David Seymour Spooked By Trick Or Treaters Dressed Up As The Capital Gains Tax

October 31, 2025

te pati maori ripping and burning paper

Te Pāti Māori On The Lookout For New Ways To Destroy Pieces Of Paper They Don’t Like

October 22, 2025

hipkins doing haka in parliament

Attention-Starved Chris Hipkins Planning Labour’s First Parliament Haka

October 17, 2025

Judith Collins with her new govt app

Government Struggling To Explain What’s Inconvenient About Having A Wallet With A Licence In It

October 9, 2025

SOLUTION WITHOUT A PROBLEM

chloe swarbrick with winston in front of smashed window

Swarbrick Relieved It Wasn’t One Of Her MPs Doxxing Winston Or Smashing His Windows

October 8, 2025

Luxon and Hipkins dancing on stage humiliatingly.

Support Growing For Proposed Total Ban On Politicians Dancing In Public

August 17, 2025

hipkins running on wellington waterfront.

Hipkins Joins Trendy New Run Club After Running From Public Inquiry

August 14, 2025

chloe at her desk outside parliament

Chlöe Made To Drag Her Desk Outside And Stop Disrupting The Class

August 13, 2025

Nicola Willis In Charge Of Redesigning National Party Logo To Better Represent Priorities

August 13, 2025

angry Swarbrick with team and team kit

Swarbrick Kicked Out Of Parliament For The Week Now Has No Excuse For Not Washing Team Kit

August 12, 2025

Leigh Hart and Chris Luxon with Snackachangi chips.

National Looks To Quietly Swap Out Luxon With Snackachangi Chips Guy

July 28, 2025

seymour and nicola willis

NICOLA WILLIS DRESSGATE: Seymour Annoyed No One’s Asked About His New Suit From Hallensteins

May 27, 2025

man on the couch and brooke van velden on tv

“WAIT, WHAT?”: Local Bloke Snapped Out Of Couch-Based Doom Scroll By Brooky’s C-Bomb

May 14, 2025

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